Beautiful Boy: How to save a life

There is no greater love

*Spoilers alert

How can we save someone, who is unable to save himself?

How can we reach out to someone, who wants help, but is constantly nudged by his own demons, only to sink deeper each time?

The movie Beautiful Boy talks about these issues, but offers no obvious solution.

Nic is an average, cynical teenager, dodged by his severe addiction of drugs. When his dad found out, he wanted to do everything he could to help. Nonetheless, with his son relapsing over and over again, he fell into despair, even to a point that he wanted to give up on Nic and just focus on his other children.

“If we don’t help him, he will die!”

“Even if we help him, he will die.”

I vaguely remember this conversation between David and his ex-wife. David turned cold, his voice turned as monotone as an answering machine as Nic called him with sobs masking his voice, seeking help from his father. He was simply tired and fed up, having his attempts to save Nic in vain.

Truly, if we have no power to pull one out of his misery, what more can we do? Because to us, simply being there for a person is not enough — we have a twisted need to feel that our actions won’t burn in flames. We wanted to see that miracle, that magic of someone healing the moment we reached out to them. It is basically impossible.

Maybe our only function is to be a witness. A witness of how time has transformed that person. How he survived through time, coming back stronger, and always being able to seek refugee in the bay of his trusted ones. If we can do that, maybe we can be a momentum for someone to fight back against the impossible.

But what if we can’t change that person?

“I have always been mourning… she isn’t her when she’s alive. Maybe it is better that she’s dead now.” Another drug addict ended her life eventually, and her friend expressed her feelings in a sharing session. That’s when David realize that he couldn’t leave Nic to die. To him, no matter the self-destructive and cynical Nic or the considerate and generous Nic, both of them are his son. Nic is Nic, and he has to be there for him. He was his last defence, his last hope and light.

And Nic must have thought that too, when he broke into tears and dialled his phone. “Everything.” That’s how David described his love for his son. Nic knew that David loved him and would never leave him no matter how fucked up he is. Maybe he didn’t need David to really do anything, just to support him to fight his ever growing demon is enough.

My heart broke as David’s voice turned cold in that scene.

Some viewers may think that the movie has a rather heavy ending, with Nic crying while holding David, after he woke up from overdose. In the end, Nic was still struggling vigorously. Nevertheless, I feel that the movie did depict a sense of hope and reassurance at last. Because Nic is not alone. No matter how many times he relapse, David will be there, holding him.

There’s no greater love than that. (This part reminded me of God’s love — even if we sin all the time, but each time we repent, He will forgive us.)